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March 2, 2009
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(Contains: strong language)
NEWSCASTER #1
Good morning and welcome to the evening news on the Indecisive Network. Maybe we will, maybe we won’t.

NEWSCASTER #2
Won’t what?

NEWSCASTER #1
I haven’t decided yet.

NEWSCASTER #2
This morning’s head-

NEWSCASTER #1
Maybe tonight’s

NEWSCASTER #2
Shut up and take your pills. Today’s headlines.

Children’s toy sparks heated religious controversy.

Home Office released a statement earlier today instructing parents to CALM. THE. FUCK. DOWN.

NEWSCASTER #1
RBS chief admits to choking puppies and orphans with big handfuls of public money. The Chancellor responded this morning by jumping up and down on cars in the street proclaiming himself to be The Goddamn Batman.

Treasury staff are currently trying to coax him down with Robert Preston who has promised to say only nice things about the economy from now on.

NEWSCASTER #2
Police have cordoned off the public toilets in Chisick railway station after the discovery of a body in the early hours of this morning. The man, who has yet to be indentified, is said to have been extensively mutilated with a number of organs removed including his eyes.

NEWSCASTER #1
You might say…

Puts on sunglasses.

…he never saw it coming.

THE WHO
YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH




NEWSCASTER #2
And now our top story.

The city of Lincoln finds its self under siege by the rare blue breasted Manglorp. This is the first time the elusive creature has been captured on film since its discovery in 1962 by incredibly famous explorer Lord Haddock Q. Lawnchamfer.

NEWSCASTER #1
I’ve never heard of him.

NEWSCASTER #2
Shh.  Little is known of the Manglorp, mostly because scientists are too busy growing body parts on rodents to do any real work.

NEWSCASTER #1
Dicks on ferrets last I heard.

NEWSCASTER #2
After we cornered a few of them in the toilet with a spade our experts suggested that the Manglorp may be searching for a suitable mate by signalling from the rooftops with its distinctive call.

NEWSCASTER #1

Next up, another abduction attempt was made earlier this week by those damn zothirans. The abductee was none other than one of our very own production staff.

NEWSCASTER #2
What’re the chances?

NEWSCASTER #1
On our budget? Pretty good. A local captured the moment on camera and when questioned said it was “Too lolsome to intervene”.  We shot him in the solar plexus with this harpoon gun. LOL is not a word you bumfaced cretins.

NEWSCASTER #2
And now the weather.

Cut to WEATHER GUY who stands there stubbornly not doing the weather.

NEWSCASTER #2
Any time now would be great.

WEATHER GUY
I had to roll around in shit for that last gag.

NEWSCASTER #2
What do you want? A parade or something?


WEATHER GUY
Yeah actually, I do.

Stock footage of a parade.

NEWSCASTER #2
Happy now?

WEATHER GUY
It’ll do.

In Scotland it’s pretty grim on the roads. The Met Office has issued a severe weather warning for snow and great big fecking werewolves.

The North of England is faring slightly better with light sleet and a tendency to headbutt random passersby. This will continue from now until Monday when a light concussion will settle and everyone calms down.

The Midlands are very slightly on fire, but further west in Wales… well the less said about Wales the better.

The South remains as dull and depressing as ever, with little in the way of intelligent life throughout most of the home counties and the surrounding regions. In Reading it’s raining actual cats and dogs just for something to do.

Meanwhile Cornwall got all black and syphilic and then fell off. Back to you.

NEWSCASTER #2
You know if you’re not going to take this seriously I’m just going to go.
Shooting script for interior scenes as part of a university assignment.

In the final product the dialouge here would be punctuated with various short segments show casing various post production techniques.

It's not properly formatted because it's just a casual thing.
:iconalesiapratt:
alesiapratt Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2009   Traditional Artist
I like what I read!
Reply
:icontwyce:
Twyce Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2009
I like that you like what you read.
Reply
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